How to Help a Hoarder Who Doesn't Want Help

Helping a hoarder isn’t always easy. Despite your best intentions, you may be met with some resistance.

As a Senior Real Estate Specialist, I’m no stranger to clutter. Many older homeowners have all kinds of stuff in their homes, and it’s my job to help them declutter as part of the selling process.

If you’re living with a hoarder or are simply looking for insights on how to help a hoarder declutter, this blog is for you. I’ll go over my best advice for how to deal with a hoarder (especially one who doesn’t want help) and where you can find the right solution for everyone involved. Let’s get started.

Clutter Vs Hoarding

It can be hard to know when it’s time to speak up about a loved one’s hoarding – especially if you think they’ll refuse help or insist there’s no issue.

There’s no scientific metric for when everyday clutter crosses the line into full-on hoarding; however, there is a scale that can help you decide whether or not you want to talk to someone about their hoarding habits.

The 5 Stages of Hoarding outlines different levels of clutter in the home and how it impacts the person (or people) who live there. If you’re trying to help someone who may be a hoarder, it can be a helpful reference point.

The 5 Stages of Hoarding

  • Stage 1 (Minimal) – The home has minimal clutter, but is at capacity with no extra storage space available.
  • Stage 2 (Mild) – Clutter is out in the open, but rooms, walkways, and doorways aren’t obstructed by the accumulation.
  • Stage 3 (Moderate) – Certain rooms or areas of the house can’t be used properly because there’s simply too much clutter. Doors and exits are blocked as well.
  • Stage 4 (Severe) – On top of excessive clutter, hygiene and safety hazards start to appear. Garbage is built up, and there are pests and mould issues.
  • Stage 5 (Extreme) – The home is no longer safe. It’s overflowing with clutter, unhygienic, and there is potential damage to the property’s systems and structures.

How to Deal With a Hoarder: Navigating Emotions

One of the more delicate obstacles that can come with helping someone with a hoarder house is the emotions. Unfortunately, there can be stigma, shame, or embarrassment associated with hoarding, which can make it harder for homeowners to admit they need help, let alone take action.

Feeling attached to or sentimental about our belongings is completely natural, and while there is a threshold for when habits can become concerning or unhealthy, it’s never a good idea to use shame (or similar emotional tactics) as a method of motivation.

Instead, it’s best to get guidance from a caring professional who can provide compassionate support while keeping the homeowner on track and accountable to reach their decluttering goals. More on that next.


Searching for more blogs related to downsizing and decluttering? Explore these related blogs next!


Help For Hoarders: A Case Study

As a Senior Real Estate Specialist, supporting homeowners through the decluttering process is a big part of my approach. I would like to share an example of a client I had who was struggling with hoarding and needed to sell her house.

In this scenario, the thought of all her stuff became so overwhelming that she became paralyzed and didn’t do anything. Luckily, she reached out to me for help.

Preparing a home for sale can be a lot of work. Having the right plan, support, and execution will set the homeowner up for success. This is why having a professional (like me) is so important.

When a homeowner tries to tackle everything themselves, or with the help of family, it adds a new layer of risk. Not only is it often time-consuming, but when you’re relying on someone else’s help, you are at the mercy of their schedule. In the end, the small investment a homeowner thinks they’ll save up front often costs them more in the final sale price.

How Decluttering Helps Your Home Sell

Another way to help a hoarder is by highlighting how a cluttered home can be detrimental to its value. Regardless of which of the 5 stages of hoarding a home falls under, it won’t live up to its market potential until it’s properly decluttered. But again, it’s important to work with a professional.

For example, if it takes 6 months to get the home ready for the market, and the values dip 3-5% (which is happening currently), then that’s a reduction of equity, which could equal 10s of thousands of dollars. They may think they saved a few thousand dollars by doing it themselves (rather than working with a professional), only to have their home be worth $30,000-$40,000 less by the time it’s ready to sell.

Many older adults need to get top dollar for their homes. They need this money to support the balance of their life, and as most are on fixed incomes, or reduced fixed incomes when they become widowed, every dollar counts.


Helping a loved one downsize or declutter their house? You may find these blog posts helpful!


Finding the Right Help

If you or someone you know feels overwhelmed by the prospect of decluttering your home, help is available. As a Senior Real Estate Specialist, I know about the unique challenges, both logistical and emotional, that you can face when you simply have too much stuff.

I can help you declutter your home without feeling overwhelmed and ensure you get the best result possible from your sale. When you’re ready to start your next chapter, get in touch with me.

Need help decluttering? I’m here for you. Give me a call at 647.283.2127 or email stuart@stuartnodell.com to get in touch.

Book a Consultation

See how I simplify your real estate experience with personalized plans and total project management.

Book a Meeting